defeated
I will probably never get over you and move on. like all the others. you will be a spot on my soul. It's not the way you couldn't understand me or have the slightest bit of empathy for me, it's the way I convinced myself that it was okay, it was okay to have sex against my will, just because you would be insecure and mad if I didn't. It was okay to be always anxious around you, to question my every move and walk on eggshells to avoid pissing you off. It's the way I gaslit myself into thinking this wasn't abusive and fucked up to begin with. And honestly it's the way your asshole friends act. Imagine being abused and isolated because you got out of the abusive situation. And it's the way I can't get over you. I had the worst time when I was with you, my ibd flared up and my depression got so much worse. But I... Miss you? I think about the good times we had. it was never entirely fun, but I felt love for you and that pisses me off It's the way yo...