Long disorganized rant(s)
Every month i have like a 5-7 day period of pure agony. It is kind of inspiring that i survive it and continue to try to live better. Every month I genuinely feel like it would be so much easier for me to die. I started taking birth control pills but i had a bad reaction to it and I stopped. 24 euros down the drain and 20 more years of painful periods in my future. My flatmate's giving up the flat to live with his gf. My first reaction was to cry for an hour and since i didn't want him to see me cry I went to the Müller and cried while looking at craft supplies. I am happy that he's in love and taking the next step with his beautiful girlfriend. I just wish it didn't make me feel like garbage. I feel like i have no place in this society and there is no way for me to survive alone. I even thought about moving back to Iran Then israel started bombing tehran and Iranian men on twitter were disgusting about women wearing bikinis and i changed my mind. Better to be unloved...