vanish

I've been on this fucking medicine that's destroying my hair, my liver, my stomach and my immune system for 3 months now. Today I am bleeding again. Seeing blood in the toilet fills me with this all hatred and shame towards myself and I don't know what to do. Is it my fault that I am feeling like this? probably not. Is it my responsibility to regulate my feelings and get back to life? yes

but it  just  really  really  sucks  and  nobody  get  it

I want to be able to eat a pomegranate and not bleed afterwards

Ive stopped smoking and drinking, but what is the point if im still gonna feel like shit 95 percent of the time?

If im not in pain im so tired i cant not fall asleep. if im awake im thinking of going back to sleep. and im just so fucking ashamed of existing like this

my sister has a job, is getting interviews left and right and im just here

i have no talent, no purpose, no plans. soon no place to live and no income

Im a burden to my family and friends. I wish i would just disappear off the face of the earth like i never existed. Im being consumed by nothing in particular and it feels so painful but i have no scars to show for it

everyone tells me to stop being stressed but that's the stupidest saying ever. how can i do that? im a single unemployed 31 year old with constant pain and issues but not enough to get government benefits,  just enough to make me a useless sack of skin and bones 

this is very painful and i dont have it in me anymore 

i just want to vanish

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